Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
