U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
