Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
