I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
