would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
