i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
