i already hear my dad disowning me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
