Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
