i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
