She just used a chaser for red wine.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
