Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize