Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
