Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
