I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
