is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
