I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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