The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize