How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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