I think i sorta joined a cult last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
