im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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