Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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