im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
