Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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