please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
