ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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