did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
