You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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