once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
