their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
