I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
