i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
