I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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