My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
