I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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