just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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