the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
