Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
