their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
