Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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