she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
