Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize