Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
