Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
