I showed him my bush... on skype.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
