So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
