love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
