I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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