How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
