well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
