I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
