my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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