How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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