just tell him i said nine months
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
