He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize