Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
