I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
