okay pat passed out under dana's car
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
two words: eviction party
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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