Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
