no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize