good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
